#ow this was the best thing I've read I am genuinely so so happy

[chillingxy]

I don't want to ramble in tags since I think this deserves all my thoughts, I'll reblog it without words after this.

This made me tear up. I joined the fandom when s9 started, I didn't really get to watch tfc's content while he was with us but I couldn't help but empathize with the people who did as they stated to grieve him. And the same thing happened when the hermits talked about him, in their own ways and at their own time, as grief should be.

The most recent one was when I was watching Grian's decked out most recent phase, he found "And old friend's pickaxe" and he said something along the lines of "Oh Tango, what a lovely artifact. I know exactly who this belongs to. I want to make it out with this one" and my heart warmed. Both from Grian and Tango because TFC was their friend and they will always remember him. Makes me feel like I would have liked his content, and in a way, some of their speeches make me think I actually got to know him.

And the fact that you researched for this absolutely warms my heart even more, I'm pretty sure I put some more prompts down in case someone would like to skip this because I know how it is to research something from a country that's not your own for just a gift. However that makes me even more impressed and grateful about this, you really picture what day of the death is like and how it should be as a community, not a sad day but just a day where you can share some experiences, remember, and have fun together. Thank you. Thank you so much for this. I can't say it enough. And I hope everyone who reads this also enjoys it as much.

Day of the death is for everyone, thank you so much again<3

Edit because I need to say more

"do you believe in spirits?" "For tonight, yes, I do believe in spirits" as they are hearing sounds. IT MAKES ME GO SO. I love that detail so much. He's with them, and he's doing what he loved the most, he's in the afterlife, being a true Hermit<3

@chillingxy Here's your secret spooky gift! Sorry it wasn't available earlier, the research for this was...a lot. Definitely a challange, and opened up my eyes a lot. So I hope you enjoy, and have a Happy Halloween, y ¡Feliz Dia De Los Muertos!

also @mcyt-halloween

On the 1st of October, Xisuma woke up, put on his helmet, and immediately sent a message in chat.

[xisumavoid]: Everyone ready for the meeting?

[FalseSymmetry]: yup

[Keralis]: Born Ready!

{TangoTek joined the game}

[xisumavoid]: Meet at spawn

He snapped on his elytra, marveling at how the gauzy purple fabric solidified into a harder substance before taking off into the afternoon sky. He planned the meeting to start the meeting as the sun set, so the spooky decorations (appropriate for the season) would really shine through. He chuckled to himself. Get it, shine? ‘Cause the lights…would…shine? 

Nevermind.

He ignored the extremely bad pun, instead choosing to focus on not crashing into Grian, who had somehow gotten to the meeting spot before him. Grian turned towards Xisuma as he landed, stumbled and finally managed to plant both feet on the ground a mere block away from Grian.

“Hello Xisuma! How are you doing on this lovely day?” Grian leaned in closer, rocking on the balls of his feet. Xisuma brushed himself off before facing the avian. 

“I’m doing good. How about you?”

 “Oh, I’m doing ghoul-d” Grian giggled after he said the last part. Xisuma sighed. 

“I really hope you’re not doing this until Halloween.”

“Oh, of course not! Once we get past Halloween I’ll start on my winter jokes.”

“Winter jokes? Grian…” Grian simply laughed before walking towards the prepared seats and plopping down on the nearest one.

“Don’t worry, you’ll love them!” He turned his attention to an approaching flier. “Hey Mumbo! Do you want to hear a joke?” As soon as Mumbo landed, Grian bombarded him with his next joke. Xisuma left the two laughing as he started to take inventory of his surroundings. 

They were in a forest close by to spawn. The trees not felled by the Hermits held themselves high, against both player and sky. Their boughs were decorated with soul lanterns and jack o’ lanterns, combining with the setting sun to cast an eerie light over the rows of chairs laid out in a clearing. He was quite proud of his setup. In fact, he was so busy admiring it that he didn’t notice Scar until he was blocking his view of the trees.

“Helloo, Xisuma, are you still with us?” Scar snapped his fingers a few times as Xisuma blinked. 

“Yes, I’m still here Scar, not AFK.” Xisuma scanned the clearing, suddenly noticing that seats were filled with antsy hermits. “Is everyone here?”

“Yes sir!” Scar mock saluted. “We’re all ready.”

“Excellent, let’s get this show on the road!” He rubbed his hands together before walking onto the stage in front of the chairs. He tapped the microphone twice, causing all the hermits to cease conversation. “Hello everyone, welcome to the monthly meeting! As you know, it’s October, so we’ll be covering possible Halloween events as well as housekeeping. But first, does anyone have announcements to make?” Immediately Tango raised his hand, waving it frantically before bounding onto the stage. His fiery hair whipped and flashes as he excitedly launched into a spiel about the next phase of Decked Out 2. Everyone pays rapt attention to his rant, because of course no one wants to miss out on Decked Out info. Then, after he finishes, another hermit takes the stage. Surprisingly, it’s Joe Hills. Xisuma briefly wonders if it’s about Deep Field, Joe’s massive pinball machine/main base. Considering the outer space theme, it seems unlikely to be updated for Halloween, but not impossible…

Joe placed both hands on the microphones before speaking. “Howdy y’all!” The crowd echoes with brief “Howdy”s and “Hello Joe”s before lapsing back into silence. Joe gives a small smile, then continues. “As y’all know, it’s been about a year since our dear friend TFC passed away.” Now the area is truly silent. Even the wind seems to have dropped dead in its path. “And…I think it’s safe to say that we all miss him. So recently, I wanted to find a way to honor both his memory and his legacy.” 

He began to walk across the stage, but at a slow, meandering pace. “I found a tradition, mostly observed in Mexico. It’s called “el Dia de Los Muertos”, or the Day of the Dead in English. It’s a collection of days in early November where the dead are honored, but overall it’s meant to be a celebration, not a wake. Now obviously, it would be hard to replicate the tradition exactly in Minecraft, but I have a plan to stitch together something like it. So if you can help out, please let me know after the meeting, and for everyone else, keep your ears open for an exact date!” 

Joe nods once, smiles again, then exits down the steps towards Xisuma. His eyes are focused on the floor, and his arms have migrated to a crossed position. As Joe walks past him, Xisuma grabs his shoulder as gently as he can. “Joe, are you good?”

Joe turned to face him, and X noticed that his eyes were a bit watery. Joe sighed before whispering, “I just…hope it’s enough. I miss him, you know?” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I hope we can pull it off.”

Xisuma patted Joe on the shoulder. “I know we can pull it off. And I’m more than willing to help with your plan. Just tell me what’s needed, alright?” 

Joe gave X a side hug. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” He turned to look X in the eye. “Now, what are the chances we can get marigolds on the server?”

---------------

The chances, as Xisuma found out, were none. 

See, marigolds were only available via mods, and the Aztec marigolds Joe had in mind had no mods to their name. So, as a substitute, Stress had provided orange tulips, and was scattering the petals around TFC’s old base. Keralis was sweeping away the dust and cobwebs that had accumulated since the hermits had been there. All the hermits were chipping in to clear and decorate the surrounding area. 

Except for Grian, who had made the excuse to wait for Scar’s “surprise delivery”. Xisuma doubted the truth of that claim, but whenever he brought it up to Joe, the man smiled conspiratorially and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a surprise, X. You’ll have to see for yourself.”

Suddenly, Grian chirped and screamed, “Scar, be careful!!!” Xisuma looked up to see Scar barreling towards the group at…concerning speeds, to say the least. Scar yelled back, “I’m always careful!!” before proceeding to crash head first into a wall.

{GoodTimesWithScar experienced kinetic energy}

[GeminiTay]: LOL

[Grian]: WHAT PART OF BE CAREFUL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND

{GoodTimesWithScar]: sorry guys!!! is the surprise ok?

Grian walked over to the place where Scar had splatted and gingerly picked up a plain white box. He peeked inside, and let out a sigh of relief. “Good, they’re still intact.” 

X wandered over. “What’s intact?” 

Joe, who had come over during the ruckus, reached into the box and pulled out a small skull-shaped object. “In Day of the Dead traditions, these are called calaveras,” he explained. “They’re treats for the dead, but we can also enjoy them. Look at the details I asked Scar to do!” X leaned closer, and saw that this particular skull was dyed bright blue on one side, but stayed white on the other. “Is that Jevin, by any chance?” Joe nodded enthusiastically. “I thought it would be cool if they looked like the hermits, even though it’s not traditional.” “It’s a really cool idea Joe! Really cool,” Xisuma said. 

They turned their attention to the rest of the base, which looked ready for a celebration. “X, do you have the photo?” Joe questioned. “Yup, got it right here.” X pulled a picture frame out of his backpack, walked over to the front wall of TFC’s base, and hung it on a conveniently placed hook. It was a picture of TFC, in all his black-and-white glory. Xisuma stepped back and admire both the photo and its surroundings. The golden petals, the soft glow of candles, and the last remains of a setting sun gave the whole base a warm light, the same that radiates from a small campfire. He breathes in, then out. Then he turns to the small crowd that has quietly gathered behind him. “Let’s have a good time, shall we?” Cheers erupted from the group. It will be a night of celebration. 

---------------

The party is incredible. Food is passed around, glasses are filled with bubbly potions, and everyone all around has a good time. Toasts are made to TFC, friends recall fond memories, and the light surrounding his ofrenda only grows brighter through the night. It’s a night of remembrance and reverence and love. 

Eventually, the celebration winds down to a close, as most of the hermits decide to head home when Bdubs begins to loudly snore on Etho’s shoulder (don’t worry, the laughter woke him up). They choose to keep the candles lit overnight and snuff them out in the morning. The crowd slowly exits the base, pulling out elytras and rockets as they go. Eventually, the crowd is down to just Xisuma and Joe. The two decide to walk around TFC’s home one last time before leaving for the night, and that’s when they hear it.

Somewhere off in the distance, the duo hears a soft clink, clink, clink. Joe looks over at Xisuma with a quizzical look. Xisuma shrugs his shoulders. He didn’t have a clue as to where the sound came from. 

There it was again, clink, clink, clink. This time Joe pointed over to a small hole leading downwards. It was TFC’s stripmine, located a few blocks away from his base. Xisuma motioned for Joe to follow him as he walked towards the entrance. 

Down they went, past stone and more stone and a few leftover coal ores. They reached an area where the clinking got loud. “Is someone strip-mining down here?” Joe asked. Xisuma scanned the area, but saw nobody, and no torches. “Well, I don’t think anyone’s down here. Should we head back up?” Joe nods once before making a beeline for the exit. They make it all the way to the top before Joe holds a hand out a block him. “Look over there.” He points over to where the hermits had gathered earlier.

The petals, previously scattered, were now arranged in a pattern. “Thank you,” both hermits mouthed the word silently before turning to each other.

“Do you believe in spirits?” Xisuma asked Joe. Joe thought about that for a moment then said, “Well, depends. What are the chances that Grian, Scar, or somebody else with a mischief streak snuck back to do this?” “Possible, but not likely,” X replied. “Then,” Joe concluded, “for tonight, yes. I believe in spirits.”

The two stood in silence for a bit, before Joe suddenly said, “Well, I’m exhausted. I’ll see you at the meeting tomorrow?” The hermits had agreed to push back the next monthly meeting until after the Day of the Dead. “Yeah, see you tomorrow Joe.” Xisuma waved to Joe before heading off towards home.

Xisuma walked away, satisfied yet tired. Tomorrow was another meeting, another month, another day forward into the future. Yes, he missed TFC, but he knew that he and the other hermits would carry the man’s spirit with him until he too, faded away. 

Somewhere in the background, a wind picked up, swirled the orange petals, and carried them off into a twinkling sky.

[jellyluchi]

Happy Anniversary dearly beloved! it's that time of the year where I ramble about my feelings and pour sentimentality out of myself like a leaking faucet so I will be putting that under the tag I want to be vulnerable so please don't be judgmental.

I have been waiting with mute anticipation every year just for this day every year to make it sort of a tradition for myself (and Prosciutto!) to enjoy and take some time to appreciate all the time spent together over the years, especially how things have changed or stayed the same from all those years ago

Prosciutto came to me right before a really difficult time I hadn't realized I was struggling so much until after I already decided to selfship with him. And boy, am I happy for that decision... This day really did change my life! I should have known when I'd spotted him that it would happen but seriously I could not expect all this from myself.

And so much more that I didn't expect from myself happened and he was by my side through all of it. If I told the me from 4 years ago that I would be getting into art because of this man I wouldn't have believed it. I distinctly remember a time when I was so heavily in denial of my selfship out of deep, deep shame that I could not accept I could be the type of person to own a lot of merchandise especially things like body pillows of a character. I didn't believe it because I felt too vulnerable and less than when thinking of showing my love like that.

But I'm so happy that that's changed and turned a complete 180. I will happily and proudly own a Prosciutto dakimakura one day! I used to believe I would never be able to draw even if it was my passion since I was a child. I genuinely believed it would not happen in my lifetime. The only push I really needed was Prosciutto as my muse. So this piece if especially personal to me since I am so happy to be able to draw something just for our anniversary.

So much of Prosciutto's character is about keeping those he trusts the closest to his heart and pushing them to be better, supporting them to be their best version. He would not allow me to be ashamed of myself. And it only serves as more motivation to think of having someone like him by my side.

It caused me to make a character so personal to me I could change my perception of myself through her. I wanted him to love someone who looked like me, acted like me because I wanted to see someone like Focaccia being happy, achieving her dreams and her dream life. So many of the things he does with Focaccia ends up being my aspirations and hopes, some he symbolizes for him.

There was a time when I used to be irrationally upset and insecure about our perceived age gap. But over time I became so much more comfortable I like leaning into it, and given Prosciutto's powers I love the thought of him aging with me, keeping our age gap and essentially growing old together.

This is really funny but I like to remember this day from 4 years ago very fondly. I'd just read a fanfic that changed my brain chemistry so bad I could not focus on even showering and I used body wash as shampoo clumsily falling over myself just thinking about a life with this man. It became a core memory.

And after that one day, every single choice I've made has not only brought us closer but has brought me so many new people and friends into my life. My perspective changed, my though process changed. I owe him my early to late twenties. And hopefully more ♡

[seeingivy]

HELLO RONNIE DEAR, FIRST OF ALL I WANNA SAY IM SO GLAD THAT YOURE BACK ILY ❣️

I read your little A/N at the end of canary mate and I hope everything is going fine! Please take your time and don’t rush anything. Your health is way more important than anything!! (Also, there is no reason to be sorry for that, people who love and cherish your craft will understand that things happen and will wait for you)

AND STOP UNDERMINING YOURSELF, YOUR WRITING IS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! The light of my day is when I’ve seen that you’ve posted a new chapter for literally ANYTHING.

All in all I just wanted to pop in and check on you.

Hope you have a great day—MWAH!💋

HI MY SWEET BABY. actually my eyes kind of teared up at this whole thing I fear I am in shambles.

on the real, i'm very glad that everything is fine for the most part, i've just been going through a lot of stuff mentally. (aside from the fact that for the past twenty four hours one of those VERY BIG political zionist accounts is trying to doxx my parents? like fully posting my dad's workplace address, etc etc it's kind of crazy. this is going to ruin the world tour)

anyways, i'm lucky enough to be in a place where i have a therapist and that i'm trying to work through that stuff so i'll be back on the come up soon enough 😔

but reallly thank you for your sweet words 😭 I know deep down that I don't owe anything with writing at a set time or pace and appreciate that people are more than willing to wait for when i'm ready, but not being able to write makes me a little bit sad :((( I am trying my best to get back into it and be happy with what I write and put out there, but stuff like this genuinely does mean the world to me and remind me not to be so critical of everything all the time.

the justin bieber is kind of killing me I love you SO BAD like it actually made me laugh out loud

[shuicheese]

I wanna talk about Kinich's story quest (mainly ONE thing and I'm sure you know exactly what it is) because honestly, something happened to me (spoilers ahead!)

I'm also gonna post some stuff I posted on my twitter because I have the most disorganized thread known to God rn but

firstly before anything;

this man came home early pity I've never been so happy bc I'm trying to be F2P but story time!

I didn't pay too much attention .

bHFVHJVFVFVF OKAY BUT LISTEN I WAS HALF-PAYING ATTENTION UNTIL I SAW THE SAURIANS WITH CUTE HATS, MY FLYING ANEMIC ANT AJAW, AND THEN,,,, H I M .

HYV UPDATE THE GAME N OW N OW. NOW. NOW. PLE ASE. P̴̜̾L̴͛ͅȄ̷̜A̶̪͠S̸͓̐Ē̶̦.̴̖́ ̷̯̅ P̷̦̍̕L̴̬͂̚ͅ ̵̠͗E̷͕̎̚Ą̴̫͆S̴̞͋Ȩ̵̀̄.̸̧͉̈́̓

I'm so ill over NPCs I'M VERY ILL OVER THIS ONE (I MADE A JOKE SAYING HE'LL BE IN NATLAN WHAT THE H EL L)

TO SAY I WAS EXCITED AND DEMANDED AN UPDATE WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT BC I PLAYED THIS BEFORE KINICH;S UPDATE.

Finally, the update happened, I tried to be prepared

Before we get to the main crumbs, let me just.

evil is stored within him and tbh with y'all I'd love to hold him, and take a big bite out of him.

this is your evil dragonlord and his human pet

That was quick! Enjou tim

we are SO BACK every nyan, WE ARE SO BACK WITH THIS

BITCH WASN;T EVEN AMUSED AT ALL WITH THIS REVELATION

WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO? WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOD EVENING??? GOOD MORNINGS??? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY SO SOON I MISSED YOU???? I'VE BEEN LOYAL TO YOU DESPITE SEEING THAT BAPTIST AND THE OTHER ABYSS RATS DURING THE ANNUAL DAINS QUESTS WDYM "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE"????

I'm never one to ever say what gift is "better" but tbh w y'all, having Enjou as a gift is the best thing known to man-kind and I don't think Kinich predicted that I wasn't going to harm this man

Love is so real I'm so full of it

I wanna read some with you I think we can personally actually recreate some of them (they better be halal I am not going to perform or display any haram behaviors that's out of the QUESTION.)

i named this file "i'm trying to bend my neck"

this is the Joseph Joestar tactic I know exactly what you are, you heathen

Sanka Enjou chat is over for now because I want to say I appreciate Kongamato so much, look at him, he eepie..... If anyone tries to harm him I will kill everyone :)

I'd like an act 2 and while we're at it, act 3

I genuinely need to look back I barely paid attention and it shows

[g-gurokisses]

ive been okay !!! truly lots of changes :P .. i found someone that actually likes me as much as i like him lol. we spend all our time together,, we both get jealous when we hang out w our friends but its okay cuz we js call right after. its like finally i am not the only one doing the obsessing..

its so nice it doesnt even feel like im obsessed!!! cuz so is he :P. at first i thought it wld just fade on his end as it usually does, and then i thought id feel smothered and want him gone but.. its been like four months i think and were still the same.

the only thing i wld change is if i could just finally make it Oficial lol. but, im waiting for certain things to fall into place for that first. still cant wait tho :3

i like him so much.. i love him So much. its funny, ive never met someone so normal yet so weird. he gets everything i say but he doesnt get it like i do,, but he gets it in a way nobody ever has before. he gets me,, its like he knows me yk?. i hope we get far, i dont ever wanna be away from him.

– く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡

Thank you for sharing this with me!!

Oh this is wonderful, just wonderful!! I'm so happy to hear that my dear! Success stories are always the best part of this blog! This truly warms my heart ♡

Doesn't it feel amazing to finally feel loved and understood, even when you thought you'd never get love? It's amazing!! And I hope anyone who reads this realizes that time and patience will get you far, everyone finds someone eventually!!

Frankly I also had my phase where I thought I was unlovable, or that relationships weren't for me. I even thought, for a moment, that friendships could replace relationships! People who have been following me for a while and read my posts a lot might remember that... Quite embarrassing when I look back now! Tehehehe~

Now of course, that might very much be the case for some, and there's nothing wrong with that, but for yearning and love-filled people like me that just doesn't cut it!

Now you know what it's like to have someone who genuinely loves you! Someone who needs you and is infatuated just like you! My dear beloved and I are often too much for the average person, but we're perfect for each other. I've never had someone be exactly what I wanted like that, and I'm guessing you feel the same!!

That is to say, I'm so happy for you!!! And I wish you both the absolute best, even tho I already know you're starting off by a great start!! I can sense this relationship will do wonders for you.

And for the rest of my dear lovely readers, don't give up! Know your worth, know how much your love is valuable and NEVER settle for someone who underappreciates you. Communication is key, but if you ever feel unwanted and unloved and talking doesn't work; Please, put yourself first. You don't owe anyone anything, and that inclues you too.

As someone who was stuck in a tiring and unreciprocated friendship for years, I regret not realizing how little that person cared about me.

Remember, the right person will never make you feel inadequate!!

But most importantly, remember that I LOVE YOU~ ♡♡

[eva-marie-guentner-unity]

everything and nothing

Hello, everyone, I've received three words from you again. So, let's write a story today. The three words are "loneliness," "many friends," and "depression." Please note, if these three words don't resonate with you, you should skip this story or read it with a trusted person. As always, I hope I can entertain you well, and I'm confident, as always, that I can surprise you.

What you would do when you have friends, a family, yet still feel completely alone? You're probably thinking, "How can that be?" Well, that's the thing. You have a good life, friends, and family, but everything is just superficial. You laugh, you talk, you spend time together, and yet, you feel an endless loneliness. You know this is genuine loneliness. If you were truly alone, you'd feel lonely because you are, and you could do something about it - find friends, make connections, even if it's difficult. The hope would always be there, saying, "Once I find friends, I'll feel better, I won't be alone anymore." But what if you have everything, yet you feel like the supporting character in your own movie, where you're supposed to be the star? When nothing feels real, and you're actually all alone with yourself. Everything you have is a wrong role in a movie that isn't yours, and you're just watching as everything around you is one big lie. You should be happy, right? You have good family relationships, friends, work is going well, everything is absolutely in its best place. If you need help, you get it. If you want to do something, you make a call, and you can meet and have fun with various people. Isn't it perfect? Who could understand me if I told someone how I feel? After all, everything is exactly as everyone wishes. I lack nothing - i have money, i look pretty fine, i have a lot of loyal friends. I had a good childhood, good parents. So if I were to tell someone that I can't sleep at night, that I feel lonely,that i cry in the verry first moment´s when i am alone, that everything feels like a charade, they would say, "Imagine others have nothing, no home, no money, no friends." But what if I didn't want anything? What if nothing makes me happier? What if nothing gives me hope that I can change my situation? But here I am with everything, and everything is so perfect, and I can't do anything about it and this kills me .

I hope you enjoyed my story. Perhaps some of you can relate. But remember, you can change anything at any time, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. In the end, it's your life, and you're the protagonist. You can shape your life the way you wish and make yourself happy. That's your privilege as a human. Feel embraced until next time :)

[straye]

𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 : the hella sweet munday meme ( ORIGINAL SOURCE, FORMATTED TO BE A DASH GAME. )

♻ Any advice on improving Tumblr RP experience?

Block and blacklist, block and blacklist. Out of sight out of mind is a real thing here, and even reading everything on someone's blog to be able to do that efficiently.

⛅ Do you believe aesthetics are another form of expression?

In a way, yeah! I mean, the way I have my blog set up is certainly so.

☮ Are you feeling happy and inspired right now?

Happy, I guess. Inspired, errr. Trying!

☄ Has someone ever admitted to being inspired by you?

Maybe once? I mean Ren once said that the verse they made with Ghostshima was for me and I almost bawled my eyes out because I feel passionately about that evil little tape worm and the effect he has on Kogami past the grave. T_T

⚌ Who inspires you?

[dial up sounds]

♋ Are there any FC’s you believe should be used more? Why?

I don't use FCs at all if I can help it, so I think this is geared more towards people who use rl FCs? But if I had to say, as someone who observes secondhand, MORE SOUTHEAST ASIAN / BROWN / BLACK / INDIGENOUS FCS !!!

☸ Do you reblog from the source when someone practices reblog karma or do you follow it?

I reblog from the source for a cleaner activity tab, and I expect the same courtesy. Though, if it's something I can send in, I always try sending in stuff for memes.

☯ Do you believe you’re a forgiving person?

I'll be honest with you, no, and I've had very good reason not to be over the years.

⚑ Have you been forgiven for a mistake you’ve made?

Hard question, because I'd say kinda.

♛ Have you ever seen drama be maturely sorted out?

No lol.

♞ Do you tend to ignore drama?

Generally. It stops being drama if someone is a genuinely bad person or is up to some heinous shit though.

☾ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

One, a very long time ago. Now? Hell no.

☻ Have you ever made someone a promo or a positive shoutout?

Yes! <3 I always try to.

☎ What do you think about bias lists?

I only do these for like. KPop biases lol. Do you guys remember the mess that was follow forevers? I think we've learned from then.

☈ How many people would you say likes you?

I should hope my following, though idc if anyone hate follows.

♡ How many people do you like? Are there any people in particular that pop up?

Most of my following ??? I know me and @sorrowmarked , @withgutsandglory and @ungodli are super cool. I also wuv @kudakenai and @vtriol forever and ever. me and @yeonban have crazy meow meow to meow meow communication. Me and @n0fa0e have been friends for yeeeeears <3. And @naisetsu is pretty neat too. <3 ALSO @achroanimus FOR THEIR AMAZING IDEAS AND DEPICTION OF THE EVIL LITTLE MAN. I also owe so much to @amaeranthos. I also love love love what @vulpesse and @aahri do for a certain fox of whom I am smitten over ..............

☢ What calms you down after negativity?

Vidya games, talking to my best friend. :3

☠ What keeps you happy?

Thinking about Kogami Shinya.

☘ Is there anything that makes you instantly want to follow someone?

If they're funny as hell. Always.

☕ Is it often you hear people complimenting your blog? Characters, writing, theme, icons, etc.

No, not really, though the latest compliment I've gotten was the fact that my Kogami is so baby girl and I needed a moment to cry (positively) about that. <3

☂ What’s your best RP experience?

This was before this blog's time but when me and an ex made an entire multiverse of OCs. :( I miss that, and my OCs are still around, but that was a weirdly formative experience. Also when me and @ungodli had this rhythm for our first thread where our replies kept getting longer and longer and at some point we stopped apologizing for that LMAO AND WHEN ME AND @achroanimus STARTED OUR KOGAMI AND GHOSTSHIMA THREAD THAT I STILL NEED TO REPLY TO AUGH

⚈ What sweet things tend to happen to you from time to time RP wise?

When me and my partners will reply to something and when we see it we immediately alert each other with raw reactions <3

☐ What trends are you currently into?

girl idk.

★ What fandom do you consider welcoming?

I don't really pay attention to this. </3

☆ What are some the perks with the fandom you’re currently in?

It's small and quiet and if you want to be left alone you'll be well left alone.

☉ What fandom do you believe needs improvement? What could you do to do that?

No comment.

♦ How has roleplaying on Tumblr improved since you started out?

Um honestly yes especially when it comes to NSFW content and what kind of shit we'll let fly. It used to be that you'd see obscurely tagged full blown rl porn on your feed but now people have the courtesy to actually try tagging it better as well as people just feeling safe enough to call people out on bigotry and condoning gross shit. I kinda wish this environment is the one little 12-13 year old me started off on lol.

♨ Have you ever roleplayed with someone that has been problematic but offered critique and then watched them improve?

Yes but they did not improve.

⚓ Are there any small details you tend to like in roleplays?

Quoting some of my favorite medias / poems / etc. If you squint, you'll see my writing riddled with them. >:)

⚡ What are the good sides with duplicates?

I don't have a lot of experience with saying so but some of the villains I play where I don't mind duplicates : we really do understand these characters more than most of their fans do.

☀ What’s the best thing about roleplaying?

What isn't there to like about putting my character in all sorts of whacky scenarios or whatnot with characters he'll probably not have much interaction with or otherwise? Creating AUs, connecting with people through him, and even getting people into Psycho-Pass mwhahaha.

⛵ What genres do you like writing the most?

Slice of life, hurt-comfort, fluff, comedy, action. I want to try horror one of these days so bad.

☺ What tends to bring out your muse the most? What inspires you?

Little things that remind me of Kogami; then, I'm possessed by his spirit to let the world know that xyz is so him. Then his spirit leaves me. It often tends to be other forms of media, music, poems.

[notsodailycake]

Hey CHAOS CAKE, how are you doing?

I am doing quite well all things considered

I just want to share a bunch of things because I'm bored

1. I competed at another robot event where I did a bit better than last time... marginally (fight links)

(I think this image of Chloride sums it up nicely)

2. Somehow my silly ideas post has managed to get over 2000 views, which I am still dumbfounded by.

3. Big one here, @rinzay made a little comic of idea 5! Link

You probably already saw this, but I still find it amazing that one of MY ideas was able to inspire the creation of something so wonderful!

I would also just like to say, thank you.

You were one of the people who gave me the confidence to start publicly posting my ideas back when I was first getting started.

It eventually got me to start reaching out to other people to try and turn my outlines into full fledged stories, since I can't write dialogue. This is something that I would never have even thought of doing as recently as June! And I really owe most of that to you cake.

So, just know that I am grateful for all the help you have provided me. I hope that school isn't being too hard on you, and that you are getting enough time to destress and relax! I wish you luck in your comic and hope to see it inspire more people as it did me.

I do want to return the favor, so if you ever need any assistance with your projects, just ask!

Sorry of this was awkward to read, as I have stated many times before, I am not good at writing stuff like this lol

I- i-

Bro I actually shed a tear, no joke,,

Awe man, ok, uhm, I'm so happy. I'm glad i was anle to inspire you, like, i was actually able to genuinely help you out, and and,, idk i dont have the words for this

But I'm also thankful, thanks for actually feeling comfortable enough to share them with me, they were really fun, and congrats on all your accomplishments (yes i saw the comic, loved it)

I honestly just, I'm really happy, it's stupid maybe, but for me, this is like my own accomplishment, that i was able to help out and inspire someone

So keep up the work, even if I'm no longer available, I'm cheering from the sidelines!

And thank you so much, my comic is going good so far. Unfortunately tho, school isn't being the best at the moment, but i can manage. I've been able to desstress when getting back home ^^

And thank you for the offer as well, I'll keep that in mind

Also, haha, poor Chloride,, definitely a tough fight XD

[borahaerhy]

Dealer ch6

First of Wow. Second of I'm sorry I am a bit late I've been a bit busy but read it as soon as I could. So let's get into it🤭

It was so thrilling, the action and the suspense is amazing. You have me on the edge of my seat every time and this time was no different.

The flashback for jin was truly amazing. I loved the way you introduced it and after I read that I had to put my phone down for a second. It was so well written and it litteraly gave me chills.

I really like your writing style, you always get me sucked into the story and then I can't put my phone down and I can't stop reading. You always have just enough and just to little info and details to keep me on the edge of my seat and to keep me wanting more and more. I can not get enough.

I am really curious to know more about jungkook's backstory. Because when yoongi threw him against the wall he didn't react much. And there have been a few other scenes where you make it know that he doesn't show much emotion. So I'm curious why that is.

Also even though he was not mentioned this chapter, I am still rooting for jimin to join them.

Ow ow and I want yn to kick zeke his ass. I want her to become a full on badass and take revenge on him with yoongi by her side to support her and teach her some fighting and shooting. That would be so cool.

Sorry for my rant I will end it here😅.

Well if it wasn't obvious yet I really love this series, I really loved the chapter and I still think you shoul write a book😁

Thank you for this chapter, I can't wait for the next one (but I will, so take all the time you need) and lots of love😘

DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE! I'm so glad you even take the time out of your day to read it, please don't ever feel like there's a time requirement to read it! It's on the internet forever, so you can read it whenever you like or are able to :))))

JIN'S FLASHBACK GAVE YOU CHILLS???? Damn, I knew that scene was good, but you always find a way to inflate my ego :))

I loved writing that scene, I mean obviously it's terrible and heartbreaking but I've had the idea for it since I started character mapping, and the more I wrote his character, the more it kind of developed on it's own.

And thank you so much, I try my best now to give as little answers while still keeping the questions relevant, I used to write just whatever was on the top of my head, but now that I think through and map out where I want stories to go before I start writing them, I find it's a lot easier to hold that suspense in place, you know?

And both Jungkook and Taehyung have very interesting personalities, and I'm very happy about that. I feel like a lot of fic's (no shade, because it's definitely something every writer has done, myself included) don't really put a lot of thought or depth into anyone but the protagonist and main love interest, but I really wanted them to all have full stories and complex personalities, so the actions they took to help y/n made sense, and wasn't just something thrown together for the sake of the story.

But Jungkook is very interesting, and I'm so glad you're curious to know more!

There will definitely be a Y/n kicks Zeke's ass scene. There's no way around it, she's a badass and he's a lil bitch and there's genuinely no way I could finish this story without that taking place.

Good thing about my new job is that I quite literally have upwards of 6 hours of downtime a night, and so far, I take turns between reading and writing, so I should be uploading more often than I have been in the past!

The next chapter is already mapped out and half written, though tbh I might rewrite it because I'm not in love with it, but with that being said I don't see a reason I shouldn't have it ready to upload within the next week or two!!

Have a lovely day, I hope you're doing well :))))

[teddybeartoji]

ari my beloved<3333 you have no idea how happy it made me to see how long your answer was (TRULY) i so so so want to get into poetry and overall get back into reading and i want to just learn more and consume more art like i said and you best believe every recommendation you make will be taken very fucking seriously! jumpscare this got very long you have been warned

ALSO if u have any play recs!!!!!!!! i would absolutely love to hear those aswell!!! and i wanted to ask about your major too what are you studying if u don't mind me asking ofc

and since we are exchanging poetry i offer u this hehehe i just think it's so sweet i've been thinking about it ever since i read it

oke oke now for the good stuff - i plucked out some of my favourite parts out of all of them bc well, i genuinely fucking loved all of them

straw house, straw dog - "you are a fever i am learning to live with." is definitely a line i'll remember forever; overall um did somebody say satosugu bc the way i immediately started thinking about them wow i love heartache thanks ari; "you can sleep now, you said. you can sleep now. you said that. i had a dream where you said that. thanks for saying that. you weren't supposed to." IS MR SIKEN GOOD IS HE ALRIGHT YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT

planet of love - "you want to die for love, you always have." .................................... that really hits the spot "you're going to die, in your best friend's arms. and you play along because it's funny, because it's written down, you've memorized it, it's all you know." AND YOU PLAY ALONG BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN DOWN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK as a person who hmm has definitely surpressed all their emotions and feelings at some point in their life it really is funny huh

wishbone - "but i'd rather keep the bullet. it's mine, see, i'm not giving it up. this way you still owe me, and that's as good as anything."; "if you love me, henry, you don't love me in a way i understand." AND WHO WILL BE PAYING FOR MY THERAPY SESSION AFTER THIS HMMMMM???

landscape with a blur of conquerors - "why take more than we need? because we can." YEAHHHH; honestly this poem reminded me a little bit of disco elysium, probably the way it's written idk a painting in de style kept popping into my head as i was reading; "i prefer to blame others, it's easier. king me."

self portrait against red wallpaper - "shame means you're guilty, like the rest of us, but you think you're better than we are? maybe you are."; "the world doesn't know what to do with my love."; "disheartening? obviously. i hope it's love. i'm trying really hard to make it love."; "i clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. i'd rather quit. i'd rather be sad. it's too much work."; "i shine a light on them of my own making; septic, ugly, the wrong yellow. i mean, maybe it's better if my opponent wins."; i'm gonna have to write like a psychoanalysis ON MYSELF after reading this nobody talk to me i need a decade

portrait of fryderyk in shifting light - "what can you know about a person? they shift in the light. you can't light up all sides at once. add a second light and you get a second darkness, it's only fair." a second darkness mhmmmmmmmmm; "the life of a body is a nightamare." BRO; "i turned off my headlights of looking and let the animal get away."

glue - "longing and suffering? of course, of course." OF COURSE OF FUCKING COURSE; "the wrong things have been wired together. things that shouldn't touch."; "i turned the image over like a rock, but then the worms." OH BUT THEN THE WORMS yeah no this man needs to compensate for my mental health he's ruining me rn

half-light - OMFG I LOVE THAT I COULD LISTEN TO IT!!!! IN HIS OWN VOICE TOO!!! FUCK!!!!! and i 1000000000000000% agree that it just screams satosugu AND de like holy shit it does; de especially when i was listening to it, his voice definitely sounds like it belongs in martinaise; "-that suffocated, fearful look on your face."; "jim, yesterday i heard your wife on the phone tell me you died almost nine months ago. jim, now we cannot ever." how about we all just take a fucking breather bc i feel like i'm suffocating

love incarnate - "to all those driven berserk or humanized by love." damn off to a great start my hands are shaking; "he made him wake. he ordered him to eat my heart. he ate my burning heart. he ate it submissively, as if afraid as love wept." it amazes me so much how some people write and use their words bc WHAT THE FUCK he ate it submissively, as if afraid as love wept are you fucking kidding by any chance and i must note that love and hunger are just an insane duo i love reading anything that has those two combined (when are they not?)

dedication - "it’s true I never write, but I would gladly die with you." might as well slap this onto my forehead; "remember me. do you remember me?"; "although I never write, secretly I long to die with you, does that count?" and i long for a fucking gun ARI YOUR PICKS ARE IMMECALUTE

mouthful of forevers - "our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come."; "i will kiss you like forgiveness. you will hold me like I’m hope. our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book."; "and I will not be afraid of your scars."; "but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. i will love you when you are a still day. i will love you when you are a hurricane." i think out of all of these - this might be my favourite one (even though i thought this after every read..) it's simply beautiful

for m - "i hope you won’t need pills like i do."; "i think i get so scared because i’m greedy —  i want to hold onto everything, the world wants to take it away. what the fuck."; "please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it." it fucking hurts so good; remember when i said that the last one was my favourite ok so i might've lied bc this just might be the one fuck i love it so much ari

i can't tell you enough how much i appreciate you sharing these with me ari!! it means a lot!!!! i also have to say that i really loved reading what other people had to say on genius i think it's very cute when people share their thoughts like that<33333

i am sorry though that most of these were quotes and not a lot of my own commentary - i hope they still tell you more about myself bc all of these really resonated with me. i am still very much learning how to speak and write like a child bc well, the lovely quote "is it better to spear or to die" hangs over my head like a guillotine blade :)

ONTO DISCO ELYSIUM YAY!!!! THE GASP I LET OUT WHEN I SAW YOU SAY THAT U LOVE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and hello???? i need to know your favourites too!!!!! am itching to know your favourite skill and quote heheheh btwbtwbtw do u play any other games?? i'm so curious

my favourite character has got to be harry though. through and through. from the first second i met him i knew - this is the guy. idk what it's really saying about us - the fact that he's our favourite..... other than the crystal clear fact that we are incredibly cool of course.

i do regret to inform u that i don't have a favourite quote to give u at this very moment BUT i promise to play it again very soon and then i'll write down all of my favourite ones just for you!! TRUST!!!! as for the favourite skill i'm gonna say inland empire for now!!! pretty popular one i figure but idc i like it a lot it's fun

gonna share some funny moments i had while playing this though! on my very first playthrough I DIED when first meeting evrart.................. he had one of his breakdowns and i was still getting into the game and i was so fucking confused as to what the actual fuck just happened overall a very #relatable situation though + on my second playthrough i was not lucky at all with getting the body down from the tree i think i had to retry it about five times?????? which i think is insane and i ended up having to put the body into the polar bear freezer lmao

YOU'VE PLAYED DISCO ELYSIUM AND IT'S YOUR FAVOURITE GAME WHAT IS HAPPENING I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW ANYONE ELSE WHO EVEN KNOWS THE GAME I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHAT THE HELL

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY???????? THE WAY OUR SOULS ARE LITERALLY BONDED ATP 😭😭😭😭 DUDEEEE im going a lil crazy. plsplspls i need to know ur fave character…. and ur fave skill……. and maybe ur fave quote if u have one……….. its legitimately like my favorite thing ever ever ever that game changed my LIFE

AAAA and. u asked for poetry book recs in ur other ask so i am here to deliver 🙏🙏🙏🙏

first of all!! richard siken…. he has two poetry books out at the moment, crush and war of the foxes!! i used to prefer crush but now i like war of the foxes more. its rly just a matter of personal preference, both are super good…. i said this already but i associate literally every single poem of his w at least one jjk character. mostly gojo or geto or kenny or shoko (i am predictable)

for some reason u can find literally all his poems on genius psjfjs but here are some of my faves from crush (first three) and war of the foxes (last four)!!

straw house, straw dog // planet of love // wishbone

landscape with a blur of conquerors // self-portrait against red wallpaper // portrait of fryderyk in shifting light // glue

but siken aside!!! frank bidart my beloved <333 hes so weird. his style of writing is very unique and can seem a bit very odd but u get used to it quickly!! i love him. my absolute favorite frank bidart poem is half-light, i’m fucking obsessed u dont understand, pls read it. (its so satosugu to me) and then u can find some other poems of his here! coincidentally his writing reminds me a LOT of disco elysium which is. probably maybe why i love it sm in the first place LMAO

AND AND AND…. lastly. ive tried getting into franz wright but i didnt like the collection of his that i bought :’3 HOWEVER hes written this one poem i absolutely adore, dedication. its so so so good. ”it’s true i never write, but i would gladly die with you” // ”although i never write, secretly i long to die with you, does that count?” have permanently altered the course of my destiny

… that was probably a lot im sorry PJDKFB i didnt even mention clementine von radics…. she has an instagram account where she posts some poems i think. ive run outof links so i cant show some i like but </3 her collection mouthful of forevers is super good!!

[phoebe-delia]

Drarry Tag Game!

Thank you to an extremely talented and gracious human who happens to be my friend, @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm, for the tag!

✨  Drarry Tag Game! ✨ Answer any questions you’d like and ignore the rest!

When did you get into Drarry and why?: Long story short, I was a very lonely freshman in college and needed an escape and started reading HP fanfic as a joke/escape. I started with Dramione and found my way to Drarry and that was it.

Which Drarry fic hooked you?: I genuinely can't remember. I wish I could. I didn't have an AO3 account back then, and I used an incognito window, so I can't check my history. I only had a notes page on my laptop with the fics I enjoyed most but I have 0 memory of which one hooked me.

Top three four favorite Drarry fics: Pretty much everyone knows that my favorite fic is "Right Hand Red" by @lqtraintracks because I refuse to shut up about it like it a Healthy Amount. Two others I consider in my top are: "Operation: SMWLNTETHSP" by @xx-thedarklord-xx and "Fallaway" by @nerdherderette, which I really need to reread soon, tbh, because it's so fucking amazing. Also, Beautiful Madness/Jump Then Fall (Into Me) by @phd-mama because I love both and she wrote me the sequel for Owlpost because she's the greatest.

Why can’t you quit them? I feel like I owe a lot to them, interestingly. They, and fandom, have been there for me during my lowest moments, and one of the reasons I got into fic writing was to give back, in a way? I wanted to contribute to this thing that had provided me so much comfort and joy.

But more than that, they just represent a lot of hope for me. Watching them navigate life and work through their shit and discover what it means to be good—in every sense of the word—is so compelling and relatable for me. I love reading about them getting it together after the war because it teaches me that my best is enough, that I am enough. But also, if an orphan and a (forced/coerced/child) ex-Neo Nazi with PTSD and trauma can be happy, then maybe so can I.

Would you rather be friends with Harry or Draco?: I think Harry. I truly love Draco, but I am a very softhearted/nerdy Hufflepuff, and I don't think I could handle some of Draco's snark and insults, even if it's a joke. I can handle light teasing, of course, but I've learned I don't have patience for "friends" who consistently hurt my feelings and don't do anything to fix it after I approach them to talk about it, and frankly, I think Draco would put his guards up if confronted like that. I'm not saying that makes Draco an inherently bad person or friend, but it means he and I wouldn't necessarily be a good match. I think Harry, while oblivious, would be generally better about being kind.

Who breaks your heart more often?  Harry, my absolute darling. He's been through so much. I love when he's happy with Draco.

Ideal career for Harry? For Draco? Journalist!Draco has my entire heart and soul, as does lawyer!Draco. (Thus far I've only written him as a journalist, but lawyer!Draco is gonna happen one day, too.) But also I love him as a writer in general.

As for Harry, something I love to read and write is where he starts out as an Auror and then realizes he hates it and leaves. I think I wrote my favorite career for him at the end of "this is me trying," but you'll have to read to find out ;)

Also, I like him as a Cursebreaker or Unspeakable. But also as a craftsman. OH I love him as DADA professor so much. (OMG dragon tamer is so hot too). And, as Joy said in his post, AAAB, but auror partners can be fun sometimes.

Mostly, I want Harry's career to be happiness. That's his job. Being happy.

Harry and Draco are being sent to a desert island for a week with plenty of food and water. Each are allowed to bring three additional items (no wands). What do they bring?

Draco: hair potion, healing potion, and a deck of cards (so he can either play with Harry or play Solitaire to entertain himself if he gets mad at Harry lol)

Harry: Knife (or weapon of some sort. he'd want to protect himself and Draco if needed), and phone + headphones (even if he can't call/text anyone he'd be able to listen to downloaded music. Draco would 100% steal it, though, but he wouldn't know that phones die if they're not charged for a while so he listens to it for hours and it dies and Harry is so annoyed.)

Favorite non-Drarry HP character? Luna Lovegood (see: I am a softhearted/nerdy Hufflepuff). I ADORE her. She and I would be best friends. I'd go with her on all her adventures.

If you had to pick one, enemies to lovers or (enemies to) friends to lovers? It sorta depends on my mood, but I'd say I generally like past enemies to lovers. I love post-war fics where they don't really know what they are to each other but they can't stop watching and staring and their friends think they're both crazy but they can't help it.

Would you rather read a fic that made you laugh or one that made you cry? Laugh, I'd say. I mostly read short, fluffy fics, though sometimes I like the catharsis of hurt/comfort or a little angst with a happy ending. And I don't love fics where the main humor is a lot of embarrassment. But if there's a lot of funny banter or sarcasm, I love it.

Three Five songs that scream Drarry to you (feel free to include the Drarry-est lyrics!): Oh, this blog was fuckin born for this question. I know I've talked about some of these before, so if you want more in-depth analysis of these and more songs, see here, but I will do it again muahaha. (Also I'm sorry I couldn't just do 3 songs I am Very Passionate about this lol. The songs are not in order, and I have more...but these are the ones that SCREAM Drarry to me the most. I stg I'm gonna write songfics for the first two songs one day.)

1. "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson. ("Everybody’s got a dark side/Do you love me?/Can you love mine?/Nobody’s a picture perfect/But we’re worth it/You know that we’re worth it/Will you love me?/Even with my dark side?")

2. "The Thrill of First Love" from the musical Falsettos. (ALL OF THE LYRICS!!!!!! Seriously GO listen to this song. You don’t need the musical’s plot context. But I’ll give you this: “We ask for passion at all times/We stand for passion and drink this toast/Still it’s awfully trying/And we’re not denying/That of all the lesser passions/We like fighting most.”)

3. "The Way I Loved You" by Taylor Swift ("But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain/And it’s 2:00 a.m. and I’m cursing your name/So in love that you act insane/And that’s the way I loved you/Breakin’ down and coming undone/It’s a roller coaster kinda rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that’s the way I loved you" Read the fic I wrote for the song here!)

4. "Call It What You Want" by Taylor Swift ("My castle crumbled overnight/I brought a knife to a gunfight/They took the crown, but it’s alright/All the liars are calling me one/Nobody’s heard from me for months/I’m doing better than I ever was, 'cause/My baby’s fit like a daydream/Walking with his head down/I’m the one he’s walking to So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to." See the fic I wrote for the song here!!)

5. "peace" by Taylor Swift (I never had the courage of my convictions/As long as danger is near/And it’s just around the corner, darling/'Cause it lives in me/No, I could never give you peace/But I’m a fire, and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm/If your cascade ocean wave blues come/All these people think love’s for show/But I would die for you in secret/The devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me/Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" Read the fic I wrote for this song here!)

Tagging: @written-in-ash, @romeoandmesittinginatree, @silver-de-vonne, @rockingrobin69, @m0srael, @geesenoises, @bubble-gumhead, @ronbinary and anyone else who hasn't been tagged yet and wants to play!

[rivkahstudies]

This is going to be so hard because so, so many of you have touched my life in so many ways, but I am going to try my best to make this as comprehensive as possible.

Happy New Year to the new studyblrs that have started, against all odds, in 2020. Whether we've chatted once or many times, I admire how far you've come this year.

@spoonieacademia I love your strong and dynamic voice in my server. I'm excited to see what you've got for 2021!

@studybutch : your posts and your rock dove bring me joy!! Keep 'rocking' it!

Happy New Year to the 200+ amazing members of my Solidarity server who have kept me from a lot of lonelier moments and have inspired me when I felt so isolated. I really cannot begin to thank you all, but a special shout out goes to my mods,

@grey-and-lavender : you are such a kind, thoughtful person. The amount of times you've messaged me unprompted because you saw me struggling... I dont know where I'd be without you.

@sevenstudy : please keep me in the loop in your future endeavors!! I know things have been hard to maintain thanks to 2020 but you have been such a cheerful light in my server.

@suplanguages : your way of interacting with people and taking about your daily life is just... so wholesome and true to yourself, it really endears me. I've loved having you as a mod.

+ astra & athyrium, I am so grateful for you two and all you have done!! I cannot remember your urls jdjdjdjd

To new friends! Getting to talk to you has been a treat and I can't wait for more.

@untroubledkiss : keep in touch about your lovely band of plants!! I also alleviate a lot of my anxiety with my plant babies and seeing yours has brought me great joy

@fictional-ghost : I really love our talks of growth and writing. Please keep in touch next year!

@indie-bitch : your memes uplift me!!! Please keep being genuine and kind to yourself

@best-cranberry : meeting you through the server was amazing, and since then you've been such a down-to-earth and caring person. I have faith in the future.

@lovelybookworm : you are such a sweet person! I wish you health and success in the new year

@vkfujan : obrigada por tudo!! I wish you success and growth in the new year.

@studylikegeller : please keep in touch! You are a sweet person and I hope to get closer to you in 2021

@sonderstudy : you bring so much light to my dash! I know COVID has taken more strength than any of us wanted to offer and I'm cheering you on for a better 2021

@philology-studies : I admire you a lot from afar! Please take care of yourself in 2021

@lantern-academia : another crush from afar, hehe. Your original content is so motivating, and that has been really hard this year.

@languagessi : you really astound me in how much energy and passion you put into the langblr community!! It's been wonderful interacting with you and you inspire me to challenge myself in terms of original content and research

And to old friends, even those who've heard less of me this year due to... well yeah.

@salvadorbonaparte : I owe you letters! I miss getting your postcards and I want to send you some of my own.

@basilesstudy : congrats on your reintroduction! I love your kind tone of voice in our chats and letters.

@student-succulent : best of love to you and yours in 2021!! I can't wait to hear more about your endeavors, especially with your partner and your career.

@contre-qui : I'm sorry I've lapsed in our talks, I wish you all the best and hope to stay in touch with the new year

@coffeeandpies : I know it has been a while Pat!! I am so sorry!! I love following you and I hope we can catch up soon.

@saylorreads : you've grown so much since we last talked! I want to follow your business and your work here. 🌻

@pythagorean-space-telescope : I know this has been a hard year in terms of hiatus and social media, but I'm proud of you for still being here. Please let me know how your 2021 goes once in a while 💞 at whatever pace you need

@sosiaalitieteet : anaaaa! I love interacting with you, and I hope we do it more. Your ocs really fascinate me and I love your original content.

I know I am missing so many phenomenal people, even after tracking down so many urls for this post. If you are reading this, thank you. You have changed my life in ways you cannot begin to understand. Online friends are real friends.

Happy New Year my friends!! ✨🎆🌻💞

[sotwk]

I'm just going to piggyback off @scyllas-revenge's supportive post here and try not to get too preachy much because I'm quite upset to find one of my favorite, recently discovered LOTR writers feeling this way!

@minaturefics I have not even had a chance to read and review most of your fics (except for Boromir's--I've read both multiple times already and still owe a review for one because there was just no way I could resist), simply because I like to take my time reading just like I like to take my time with writing. The best fanfics are like boxes of very expensive chocolate; you don't eat the whole thing in one sitting. You drag out out and make each piece last as long as possible because it is precious and hard to obtain. That's how I see your stories, and the stories of similar writers like Scylla who take the time to craft long, beautiful masterpieces--quality over quantity.

I completely understand the discomfort you feel over being slow on delivering requests. I myself have 12 of them sitting in my Ask Box and the only reason I'm not super stressed about it is because most of them are from my mutuals/friends whom I know are very supportive and will not be mad at me for taking my time. I noticed that many of the requests you've responded to so far are from Anons. I know that must add to the pressure because you don't want to upset or "lose" someone unknown, but really, Anons really must learn to have patience and respect for writers. You are an artist, not a machine (I know that sounds super cliché), and a human being, not a goose to be throttled for pate (less cliché, haha). The true beauty of your writing will only come out if you are happy with the task. Readers who get cross with "slow writers" might not be writers themselves and don't understand what a painstaking process it can be. Well, I hope some of them start to learn that.

Please PLEASE do not change your writing style. I cannot stress that enough. Your storytelling style and language are gorgeous and I almost cannot believe you would consider deviating from it. I may not seem like it because I will NEVER, EVER speak poorly about a fellow fic writer's works, but I am actually pretty picky. I will not fawn or gush over something I didn't honestly love. If a writer's story or overall style isn't to my liking at all, I just move on. I hope I was clear enough how much I enjoyed your work from my one review of your Boromir story; there will be more to come once I get around to the rest of your Masterlist. Your writing genuinely makes me feel things and brings me joy and comfort. I don't care if others are too negligent in their duty to give feedback and tell you that. I'm POSITIVE there are many out there who enjoy your works as much as I do (unless the porn bots have finally succeeded in taking over, who knows).

Don't think you are ungrateful for having a down day and feeling sad about not having enough engagement. We are all entitled to our down days, and we ALL have them. We get paid zilch for being fanfiction writers which, if you think about it, is atrocious considering many fanfic writers surpass the skill of published writers who earn money for inferior product. (I've bought enough unread "what was I thinking" novels to attest to this.) We put invest so much time and passion into our stories and yes, no one is forcing us to do this, but it still sucks that we can't even get acknowledgement more profound than a silent thumbs up.

If you're worried about losing your audience for taking too long in posting content, the only thing I can guarantee is that *I* am not going anywhere. Just like none of us get tired of watching the same 6 Peter Jackson movies over and over and over again, I will never get tired of rereading your stuff. Why? Because just like the movies, they're masterpieces. I am willing to wait however long it takes for you to come up with new stuff, because it's worth it. For what it's worth, I believe anyone who's read your works will be too. Unless they're bots.

Tagging a few writer friends I know who can probably relate to all this and could use the reminder of how precious they and their works are: @creativity-of-death @glassgulls @fizzyxcustard @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog. You are amazing and your works will always be worth the wait!

Been feeling a little down and demotivated recently, especially about writing. it just sort of feels like, whats the point?

I know that writing for engagement is not the goal, or at least, I'm not sure how healthy it is to have that as a motivating factor. But sometimes I just feel like I should shorten my pieces, or change my writing style a little, so more people will like it.

But also I feel like I sound so ungrateful when I say things like this because I do have people who read my stuff and send me lovely messages, and I don't want to imply like that isn't good enough, but also idk. (Can you be grateful for what you have and still want more?)

I know it takes ages for pieces or requests to come out because, life. I write as an escape, when I have free time, when I feel like it, and sometimes I just wonder if it takes so long, do the people who request things even care when it comes out? Have they moved on to something/someone else because I've been so slow?

I don't want writing to feel like a chore or an obligation, but I also don't want to lose you all.

Maybe I'm just being greedy, to want to take my own time, but also expect there to be an audience when it's been like weeks. idk, maybe this is just a creator's dilemma. idk what I'm saying anymore.

[pelideswhore]

Athena support you.

Omg wow.

One psychic told me Athena and Aphrodite is connected to me.

And I was like.😳🤯

They give me signs all the time. And after that psychic confirmation I am so happy. And lucky that they chose me. And allowed me to connect with them.

Can you please share about working with them. How they like? Are they strict? I'm still in this learning phase and I feel overwhelmed that such a powerful force is connected to me.

in case i confused anyone, i'm not pagan so i might not be the best person for this ask. if you'd like to ask a pagan, @dionysus-winelord / @lokis-right-nut works with many deities and they are very kind. i'm sure they'd be glad to answer any questions!

that said, i do genuinely feel a very strong connection the gods i named in the other post. as for signs, i receive the most signs from apollo. there are a lot of crows where i live, they generally seem to feel very comfortable around me and rarely fly away. i also very much love music. the biggest sign that comes to mind however is that i had a really bad fever in Feb last year and i started to hallucinate. the hallucination was of apollo. the very next day, i wasn't ill anymore.

through these signs, if i had to assign any personality traits to him, i'd say mostly weirdly playful and very relaxed. he seems very in control of everything, even in what was a fatal situation for me. he's fearless, but very caring and has a very grounding presence.

this brings me to artemis. though artemis has less symbols than apollo there are many that i have experienced. artemis is the goddess of childbirth and it is a dream of mine to become a doctor (another connection to apollo) and an OB to be specific. i also live near some a forest that has very artemis-y vibes and it’s a place where i always feel comfortable, although people have been killed there before. it’s weird. on top of that, there are some deer in that forest and i love visiting them. in fact i’ll probably go today.

i’d say her personality is actually very different than what many people make it seem like. she’s a lot kinder and softer. at first she really does seem cold and rejecting but she’s great company. she’s calm and also calming. i imagine her to be extremely understanding too and more merciful than her myths make her seem. nevertheless she's not to mess with.

last but definitely not least, athena. there are not many signs i get from athena, but honestly, on a spiritual level, i feel like i owe the most to her. signs include: that one owl that will never stop hooting at night, the fact that i was born with olive green eyes, i love eating olives, i'm fairly intelliegent (not to brag) and i love reading about war strategy. as you can see, these are more personal things, things that come from me and less so from her, but they connect me to her.

as for her personality, i'd say she's definitely sterner than apollo and artemis. i feel like she's more closed off than them too, since she hardly sends any signs but she's basically the silence in the storm to me. whenever i feel down, i feel her presence so much stronger, and she's all the stability i need. i mentioned in the former post that i have an olive-tree necklace – i wear that thing all the time, unless i'm sleeping or showering.

i'm sorry for the long post, but thank you for the ask :) it's super cool that you're connected to athena and aphrodite, i'm sure she's amazing. and really, all i can tell you is that the Gods are there to help you. again, yes, i'm not pagan, but nevertheless any 'interaction' i've had with athena, even if she might seem cold, was wonderful.

[ms-hells-bells]

thank you for standing up for lesbians. I have been having an unpleasant few days of questioning my sexuality and forcing myself to rearrange my worldview, trying to convince myself I *could* be with a man in the future because I've dated a boy before. I nearly had myself convinced for a handful of days I was "1% bi" whatever that means. And I only realized now that this spiraling was caused by this person's post. While rationally disagreeing with her, I started questioning everything I knew about myself bc of one asshole on the internet. Like yes I read m/m yes I find some male celebs and characters cool yes I slept with a boy yes I think some men are good-looking sometimes. I can't stress enough how all of this doesn't compare to what I feel for actual women. I don't understand how someone can be so cruel as to imply it makes me bi. Unfortunately I have not been with a woman yet so I doubt myself routinely but this was worse than usual. All this to say, thanks 🙏

the wonderful thing is that the internet is a bit obsessed with labels. you do not need to "discover what you are", what label that fits you. you can just go through life, do what makes you happy and comfortable, avoid what you don't like, and if you discover what you are along the way, that's great. it's also perfectly fine to be wrong and later realise, whether it's a woman thinking she's bi and later realising she's a lesbian, or vice versa. the internet makes you think that you are a bad person for giving yourself the wrong label in the past. life isn't easy. the human mind isn't simple. and socialisation makes things even more complicated.

but you don't owe anyone having to find the word for what you are RIGHT THIS MOMENT. in fact, you never have to. maybe you'll figure it out, maybe you won't, maybe you'll get it right the first time, maybe you won't. try to focus less on the word, and more on what you feel and what you do, and be with who you're attracted to (bi/het separatism is a different discussion, i'm just giving base advice). if you think you're a lesbian because even though you slept with a male, you didn't like it, and you can tell that attractive men are attractive (everyone can. straight men and women can also tell when their same sex is attractive, women are constantly pointing out how gorgeous women are. we all have eyes), and you only feel genuine sexual attraction to women, then call yourself a lesbian. if you later think you may be wrong, then you can just say that, there's no need to panic about the future, or what others will think of you. just be genuine to your feelings.

i actually had the reverse issue. for a while i struggled to figure out whether i was a lesbian or a male repulsed/traumatised bisexual. but then i just stopped trying to push myself to "choose a label", focused on what i did know (my attraction to women), went about my life, and later discovered that i am indeed bisexual, which at that point didn't feel like a big deal because i stopped putting that pressure to figure it out on myself. of course, it would be best if we all immediately knew, because it's not okay that women are raised to be heterosexual, and so many lesbians don't realise they're lesbian until after having sex with a man, which can lead to major regret and trauma. the elimination of patriarchy, homophobia, and compulsory heterosexuality is of the utmost importance, but in the meantime, non gold star lesbians are already coping with the struggle of dealing with their experiences they had to go through before they realised, they don't need outsiders dogpiling and guilting them. there are benefits to knowing what you are, where you fit, because it provides you with more confidence, and a community of women who intimately relate to who you are, but there are also so many women in the same boat as you and others, who have experiences and thoughts, and struggles, but haven't quite passed the finish line yet, that you can bond with and relate to as well. for whatever you are, whatever you've experienced, there are so many women who are in the exact same position.

[cheekblush]

if you dont mind me asking, (if you do mind, you don't have to answer!) how do you deal or cope with not being sure about yourself especially with the pressure of being in an immigrant family and ending up having to take an unconventional route of life compared to the one they wanted for you/want to live through you sort of ?.... i've been feeling my family's projection of their insecurities which i understand but it's so emotionally exhausting for me i'm having a weird time mannnn sometimes i feel like i should just give in to their requests of career routes they want me to take but it makes me want to kermit soupcider lolll

oh boy... where do i even begin.. this is a topic that is very personal to me and triggers a lot of emotions but i'll try to reply to the best of my abilities. i already know this will get way too long so i'll put it under a read more..

firstly of course - hello dear! 🌸  i'm sorry to hear that your family is projecting their insecurities on you and is pressuring you to choose a career path that is not to your liking (smth very common in immigrant families i believe unfortunately 🙃) right off the bet my advice is to not just give in to their requests in order to please them! you should really take some time for yourself to think what it is you're genuinely interested in and passionate about and try to pursue a career that you can actually imagine yourself working in for the majority of your life - much easier said than done i know. but if the mere thought of taking on the career paths your family is suggesting brings you so much discomfort then imagine how much more miserable you'll be actually pursuing those careers just to make them happy! as difficult as it is, sometimes your own wellbeing and happiness should be your priority bc at the end of the day this is YOUR life and you have to be content with it. and sadly we live in a society where a job makes out a huge portion of our lives, so it only makes sense to pursue one that actually brings you some kind of joy or at least doesn't make you want to "kermit soupcider" (i should start using this shahajka) as you pointed out yourself. so please take your own interests into consideration and what you want out of life in general - maybe a prestigious career is just not what you desire and that's okay! and don't neglect or compromise your own happiness for your family's sake! your decision will most likely not be met with excitement or support but again this is your life and you are responsible for your own happiness 💛

as to how i deal with my family's projections on and expectations of me... i honestly don't even know.. i think i've just gotten used to being a disappointment to them at this point (sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear.. i don't really have good coping mechanisms to offer 😔) there is just so much guilt and shame in letting them down and not living up to their expectations. in my case it's even worse bc on top of not pursuing the career they wanted me to, i am no longer pursuing the career path i chose myself either bc it impaired both my mental and physical health severely. and i'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that something i worked so hard and long for and that my parents invested a lot of money in essentially didn't work out.. and that's a huge burden i carry around all of the time (tbh i need therapy just for this issue 🤡) so on top of going against their wishes, i failed to successfully pursue my chosen career and ultimately am left with nothing.. no respectable job, no income and i have to restart at square 0. so you can probably imagine the guilt, shame, embarrassment and humiliation i feel constantly... and i think with immigrant families especially there is even more guilt bc your parents made so many sacrifices in order to provide you with a better life so it always feels like you owe them something.. like you need to earn your right to simply live and be... like you need to prove your worthiness bc you need to pay them back for all the sacrifices they've made. like you need to show them it wasn't in vain and that you can provide for them. this actually reminds me of this screenshot from this post :

(i go more in depth about my personal situation in the tags of that post in case you're interested or might relate)

i think that's what hurts me the most bc i so desperately wanted to prove that i'm worth it. i so desperately wanted to be able to provide for them, to take care of them, to give them everything they deserve and need and it's so heartbreaking to realize and accept that i won't be able to do that... and if i would've pursued my career further, worked myself to the ground, neglected my own wellbeing and health even further i might've been able to do that. i probably would've gotten a well paid job at some point but at the cost of my own health and wellbeing. and would that be worth it? as guilty as i feel for letting them down and as disappointed as i am in myself, ultimately i did what was best for my own wellbeing. and that's what i suggest you should do as well. as selfish as thay may sound, we do not need to own our right to live even if our parents did make a lot of sacrifices for us (this reminds me of another great post ) obviously i do not know what relationship you have with your family or your dynamics and i don't want to discuss mine further as i've already overshared waaaaay too much 🙃 but we need to put our own needs and wishes first sometimes without beating ourselves up and blaming ourselves - again easier said than done bc i still frequently blame myself and just feel crushing guilt but we have to forgive ourselves very, very, very frequently! and i realize that our situations aren't entirely similar as you are still in the midst of choosing a career path and i already did and unfortunately it didn't work out as planned (but that's life.. also smth i'm trying to come to terms with) but i hope that this (way too lengthy) reply is at least a little helpful or reassuring for you. this probably isn't the reply you were hoping for... i'm sorry i can't provide you with any concrete suggestions or advice on how to cope with your family's demands while being insecure about yourself and your life bc i pretty much still deal with the exact same thing and it's still affecting me very much and causing me a lot of distress. but i do believe the key is to unapologetically create the life you want despite your family's objections, discard all guilt and shame, forgive yourself often and accept things for what they are, especially if you can't change/control them. once again much easier said than done (i know i keep repeating myself please bear with me 😭) but that's what i'm trying to live by as of now and i hope it helps you somehow 💌

finally, i wish you the very best for all your future endeavors and sincerely hope that you receive your family's support even if you choose a path that they are not thrilled with. i hope you have the strength to forgive yourself when faced with failure and that you'll be able to abandon any shame or guilt that might arise. most of all i wish you an abundance of happiness, serenity, prosperity, love, health and peace of mind 🤍🕊🎐 take care of yourself and don't be afraid to put yourself first! may the remaining year treat you gently and bring many blessings your way 💗🌟🦋🍀🥠🧿🏮